A Moment of Reflection

Posted on 24 Mar 2019 @ 5:45pm by Commodore Harvey Geisler

586 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: The Kalisa Conundrum
Location: Ready Room
Timeline: MD1 || 1805 hours

Splash!

Brown eyes stared back at Harvey, mimicking every move he studied the reflection in the mirror. Water droplets from his failed attempt to freshen himself up revealed every stress line that had formed on his brow. Time had passed so slowly in the Convergence Zone, perhaps that was why he felt as if he had aged a full decade in a matter of days. He was going to be forty-two in just a days…

Forty-two.

Harvey closed his eyes and shook his head. Over the years, he’d lost track of birthdays and his age. Except for rare occasions, he hadn’t celebrated one since Alison’s death during the War. Age hadn’t mattered, only that it marked the time that had passed since…

And now he was going to be a father. Well, hopefully anyway, provided he and Joey and the rest of the crew survived this terrible ordeal. At this rate, maybe I’ll hit fifty before I become a father.

Forty-two.

He wasn’t afraid of the number, only what it represented. Medical techonolgy had advanced quite a bit in the last one hundred years. The retirement age threshold had been raised to eighty, which meant he could still have a good thirty-five or -eight years of command before being drummed out of the service.

But did he want that? More than a year ago, he wasn’t sure he was ready for command, and now here he was debating how long he wanted to keep going. Would he consider admiralty in a few years, assuming it was ever offered? Would Joey give up her career for him? Would he give up his career to allow her to have one? He was only twelve years her senior and she still had a full life in front of her. He’d already had multiple lives. If he were counting, this would be his third.

Harvey paused, still looking at the aged visage in the mirror. There was the time of civilian service before the academy. Then starting out in Starfleet and marrying Alison only to see that crashing suddenly during the Dominion War. Following that was the dark age where he floated from assignment to assignment, almost completely dulled his sensitivity to the human condition, leading up to his assignment of an veteran vessel that was just as hollow as he.

So it was four then. Four once he counted his rebirth from the ashes. Harvey studied his reflection, identifying part of the man that he saw there. He’d wasted so many years. So many moments. For what?

It wasn’t for revenge. It wasn’t for personal gain or selfishness. It wasn’t for grief either.

He supposed it didn’t matter. The past was the past. And the future… the future was uncertain. He was determined to get this ship and this crew home. Already he’d lost thirty-eight lives. Who knew how many more would be offered on the altar of a successful mission? Certainly not he, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. What good would it do if he lived and someone else didn’t? He wasn’t the only one with children. Nor was he the only one with family or loved ones.

Harvey splashed his face with water one more time before turning off the faucet. He grabbed a nearby maroon towel to dry his face before returning to the bridge.

This was all or nothing now.

RSS Feed