Broken and Disgraced

Posted on 10 Dec 2019 @ 9:57am by Ensign Quinn Mackie & Ensign Kelly Khan

1,905 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Epilogue
Location: Sickbay
Timeline: March 29, 2389 || 2000 hours

Silence.

For Quinn Mackie, silence was a most unusual sensation. His eyes were open, staring at a bright light in the ceiling. He could tell by the muted sounds of his surroundings that he was in sickbay. For the past five months, he had been a prisoner in his own body. For days, he'd fought the parasite, before finally accepting the fact that he'd never be able to accomplish anything. Only when he was around Kelly did he try.

And boy, did he try.

The parasite had been determined to convert Kelly for no reason other than to show Quinn how futile resistance was. When the Dolmoqour had finally succeeded, Quinn had assumed all was lost. He'd stopped resisting the parasite, allowing him free access to his memories and knowledge. The moment he saw Captain Geisler in the Flight Deck... Quinn couldn't even muster an iota of hope. He didn't even know how it all played out since a headbutt rendered himself unconscious.

And now... silence.

The voice that had tormented him for months was gone. The only feeling Quinn had was numb. Though he could again control his limbs and extremities, his own touch felt odd. The axiom like riding a bike wasn't true. He felt as though he'd forgotten how to walk, move, or even speak.

What was that?

Able to react to something for the first time in months, Quinn turned his head to see a familiar face standing beside the door of this private room in sickbay. The sound that had startled him was a soft sound the security guard, Ensign William Compton, had made. "Bill," Quinn said weakly. "Where's Kelly?"

Bill turned and recognized Quinn and frowned. He'd heard what the young Ensign had done and saw how he looked. "She's volunteering, Mackie," he said a bit gruffly. "You know. Helping people. Room J Seven."

Quinn could tell from the man's tone that he held Quinn responsible for quite a bit. He wanted to protest his thoughts, but he knew it was useless. Puppet or not, someone was going to be a scapegoat. For half a moment, he wondered where Carmichael was, but that would have to come later. "Bill, I need to see her."

"Then go see her," Bill said. "I'm not going to stop you." His tone was flat now but he looked at Quinn as if he hoped the young brunette Flight officer wouldn't want to see him.

That truly shocked Quinn. He started to sit up, finding it somewhat difficult to do so for not being able to use his own muscles for an extended period. They were still healthy and strong, thanks to the Dolmoqour doing a good job at maintaining his body, but he could certainly tell he was out of practice using his own body. Quinn managed to sit up on his bed, and dangle his legs and feet off the edge. He looked up at bill and asked, "But you are going to follow?"

Bill gave him a pitying look that held no sympathy in his eyes. "Lay back down. I'll see if she'll come to you." He all but rolled his eyes as he tapped his combadge. =^=Compton to Khan. Can you report to Room C15 for a patient?=^=

=^=One my way=^= came Kelly's tired sounding voice. As yet, she had either avoided Quinn's room or didn't know he was there in Sickbay, but she hadn't made any attempt to contact him since everything went down. A few minutes later, she tapped the chime and Bill answered it and spoke quietly to her for a moment before he moved to stand aside.

Kelly looked at the young man on the bed before her and tried to associate him with Tiger. There was nothing tiger-ish about him now and it looked like he'd been put through the ringler. She didn't know what she wanted to say or if she wanted to turn around and leave, but she didn't move for a moment.

Quinn had laid back down as instructed, and he regretted doing so once he saw that look on Kelly's face. He did, however, try to sit up slowly. "Kelly," he said gently, an apologetic look on his face. Up until now, he just knew he had to talk to her, try and fix things. Seeing her now, Quinn just couldn't find the words to say. "I'm... I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," she said. She knew what it had been like to be possessed by the Dolmoqour. She also remembered how she had turned in the holodeck, expecting him to put a necklace around her neck or maybe produce a ring while her back was turned. Instead she felt the slimy parasite brush her ear, then she remembered screaming and falling to the deck while it had taken control of her brain and taken her free will.

He opened his mouth to speak, only to find himself choking up. The pain in her eyes pierced his soul. His lips quivered and his arms quaked. "I..." he tried to say. "I... I tried. I tried to fight it. It... It..." He began to sob, unable to keep his emotions in check.

"Stop," Kelly said. "How long, Quinn? How long did you have it before..." She couldn't bring herself to say the rest, which was when he had changed her.

Quinn did his best to pull himself back together. "D... Deep Space 15. When we inspected the da Gama."

"That long. You hid it from me for that long," she said and shook her head. "That must make you an excellent liar or a really good puppet, Quinn. Then again, I was a good puppet, too. Fortunately, all it had me do was fly the ship."

He thought she couldn't wound him worse. Quinn closed his eyes and shook his head, regretting how wrong he was. "For five months... that... that thing raided my mind. Slowly started sabotaging the ship. I... I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop any of it."

"For five months, you slept beside of me, kept leading me along," Kelly said as she approached him. "Then you sweetly suggested we take things to the next level. Remember that, Tiger? That moment when you moved in for the kill?"

"It wasn't me!" Quinn loudly protested. "None of it! Not one thing! I-I-I couldn't do a thing! Not a damn thing! I hated every minute of it. I-I-I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried!"

Bill stuck his head in with a phaser in hand when Quinn protested. "Everything alright in here?" he asked.

"Peachy," Kelly said. "Get out, please." She waited until he had moved from the doorway again. "Finally showing some backbone there, Quinn. Not sure if I like it or not right now, but then again, I'm pushing you into a corner here. Guess that makes me a bitch, huh?"

She sighed and sat down beside of him. "We're messed up, aren't we?" she asked as a tear slid down her cheek.

With as close as Kelly was getting to him, Quinn really thought she was about to strike him. Tears formed in his eyes as he looked at her. He thought about placing a hand on her knee, and even went as far to lift one up and put down on it. He hesitated for a moment before abandoning his effort. "You're no bitch," Quinn said, shaking his head and looking away. "I'm an asshole. That... thing infected you because I wouldn't stop resisting. Maybe if I hadn't... Hadn't tried to be strong..."

Kelly made a scoffing sound. "It's because all the good targets were already taken," she said. "I'm a nobody Flight officer who only got to sit at the Helm because the others died and I was the only logical choice. Always last no matter what."

"You really think T'pyr was a better target than you?" Quinn asked, his trembles replaced by shock, if only for a moment. "You know where she is? Dead. I... I ki..." The tears returned. "I killed her. Took her Dolmoqour to Chief Beckett."

"Your Dolmoqour thought so, apparently. Not just one, but two better than me."

"Carmichael converted T'pyr," countered Quinn. "And that was inside that nebula. He only did it because he needed someone else since I was in another time zone. Even Carmichael thought she was expendable."

"Who cares?" She asked a bit callously. "She's dead. The Dolmoqour are defeated and here we are. Where do we go from here, Quinn?"

He didn't know how to answer that. He had to convince her that he wasn't behind anything that happened in the last few months, that he was just a puppet. Sadly, he had no ideas on how to do that. "Parasites aside," he said softly, "I'm still Quinn. I still love you." He looked at her. "That will never change."

Kelly looked at him sideways, then offered a faint smile. "I know," she said.

Quinn dipped his head slightly. She hadn't reciprocated his confession, and he couldn't blame her for it. He met her gaze for a moment, and then looked away, unable to see past her pain. "You'll want your space, I know. I'll... I'll find another cabin, assuming the Captain doesn't lock me in the brig. I don't think anyone's going to trust me for a while on this ship."

"Don't," she said, her voice so soft that it could have been wishful thinking on his part.

"We'll have to think about Gizmo too," Quinn added, having not heard Kelly's voice. "I understand if you don't want to hang onto him either. I hope... I hope he'll recognize me."

"I said don't," Kelly said a little more loudly.

"Don't?" Quinn asked. "Okay... okay... I'll leave Gizmo with you."

"I mean shut up," she said as she turned to face him. "Just stop talking for a minute."

Quinn paused, though he did so with his jaw slightly open. This was it, he thought. This is how it ends.

Kelly looked at him for a long moment, memories flashing past her mind's eye of the time the two of them had spent together. She remembered their camping trip on New Risa, jumping out of the shuttle on her vectorboard, the times they had spent on the holodecks, and other memories kept coming. They were all good memories and she couldn't find a single thing that said he wasn't redeemable. Finally, she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I'm not going anywhere and neither are you," she promised him.

Tears welled up in his eyes as a wave of emotion enveloped him. He couldn't resist it any longer. One tear fell from an eye while his hand ever so quickly landed--gently--on her knee. His voice was gone, held captive by a choked throat. "Thank..." he mouthed. "Thank you." Then, without warning despite how obvious it should have been, he tightly embraced her.

She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. "I want this nightmare to be over," she whispered.

"So do I," Quinn whispered between sobs. He couldn't control it now. At least he could finally find solace in that he had at least one person in his corner on this ship. His nightmare, he feared, was about to begin.

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