Getting To Know You

Posted on 28 Aug 2018 @ 8:47pm by Lieutenant Commander Joey Geisler & Lieutenant Avery Stuart Ph.D.
Edited on on 08 Sep 2018 @ 8:32pm

3,305 words; about a 17 minute read

Mission: The Search Begins
Location: Arboretum
Timeline: MD 03 - 0100 Hours (Backpost)

Shifting her weight from foot to foot, Avery looked down at both of the rather hefty bags she carried in each hand. Catching a whiff of each bag's contents, she found the odors surprisingly enticing, despite their diversity. Of course, what mattered was that Joey found her choices appealing. She realized as she replicated each of her choices, she should have asked Harvey about Joey's recent cravings and likes. Just about the only thing she knew not to bring. Not wanting to intrude, the counselor made sure to call ahead to make sure Joey had time to meet. Without telling her why, she hoped the take out would be a welcome surprise. From what she knew about pregnant women, hunger, like nausea, could be a constant companion. It wouldn't surprise her, however, if Joey had not eaten in a while. Given their current circumstances, the crew could be forgiven if their own personal needs took a backseat to
everything else that was going on.

Joey sat inside her office looking over a few reports that had come through only to set them aside and pinch the bridge of her nose. She didn't have a headache or anything, but her day was already long, and all she wanted to do know was go home and put her feet up. With the day less than half over, it was going to be a while before that happened, so she needed to find a way to make the best of it. A break wouldn't hurt, and she was getting hungry.

With her mind made up, the Intel Chief rose to her feet and made her way into the main complex once she'd secured her office, then informed her second in command that she was going to lunch. No one would dare deny a pregnant woman the need for food, and if they tried, she'd go full hormone on them. A smile formed on her lips at the thought of that as she made her way out of Intel and stopped when she spotted the Chief Counselor. "Lieutenant Stuart... hi. What brings you to Intel country?"

"No one told you I was coming?" Avery asked, now a bit embarrassed. "I wanted to make sure you weren't too busy. I brought lunch," she added, holding up the bags of food. "I thought maybe you would be hungry and you and I could eat together, assuming now is a good time?"

Joey facepalmed. How could she have let that slip her mind? "I was told, but I forgot," she admitted, looking a little sheepish. "It's been a fairly busy day, and I'm just now getting a few minutes to take a break. You're timing is absolutely perfect, but would you mind if we went somewhere else? I need some time away from my office before I go crazy. How's the Arboretum sound to you?"

Relieved that she hadn't just barged in unannounced after all, Avery smiled. "The arboretum sounds perfect, and no worries about forgetting I was coming. I realize you have a lot on your plate and was just thinking I didn't want to interrupt you. Let's blow this joint and get some decent air."

"I'm with you," Joey said with a smile, gesturing for Avery to walk with her.

***

It didn't take too long for them to arrive at the Arboretum, and for a moment, Avery allowed herself to take in the space that somehow always managed to make her forget she was in space. What was it about trees and flowers that was so uplifting? "Where would you like to be? I know smells are particularly risky right now for you, so I'll follow your lead."

"How about over here?" the Intel Chief asked as she gestured to a bench near one of the trees. Thankfully, the scents of flowers and plant life didn't seem to bother her, especially not the way coffee did, and she was so grateful for that. "Why haven't we done this before now?" Joey already knew the answer to that, though. They'd all been quite busy lately, and for her, this was likely to be the only free time she got until she went home when she was done handling a few things in her office.

Avery brought the food over to the bench as directed and then placed the bags of food nearby to begin unpacking them before she sat. Surprised by the question, Stuart looked up at Joey, offering, "Well, we have been busy lately, so there is that. I should have considered it before, but I guess with you being pregnant, the caretaker in me just thought bringing you food seemed like a good thing to do," she added with a chuckle. "I wasn't sure what you were in the mood for, so I tried to bring a little bit of everything." The counselor tried to pick a variety of dishes from all over the Federation and beyond. "All of these dishes are safe and beneficial for women during pregnancy as well."

Joey couldn't disagree with the fact they'd all been incredibly busy as of late, but that seemed to be the norm. "I don't suppose you have a cheeseburger and fries somewhere in there, do you?" she asked, looking a bit hopeful. "I know it's not exactly the best thing for me, but they're a craving along with donuts. I do try to eat a lot of things that are good for me, but indulging is something I plan to give in to since this is my first and last pregnancy. I do work out in an attempt to try to make up for all of that, though."

"I failed to mention that by 'safe and beneficial' I included morale and comfort food," she added with a grin. Pulling out two containers, she offered, "Is a bacon cheeseburger with curly fries OK?" She appreciated Joey's dedication to making sure her babies were taken care of, but she also understood the need to indulge. "I brought one for myself too."

"Perfect. You are an absolute lifesaver," Joey said, accepting the burger and fries from Avery. It seemed she'd been eating more of them than anything else lately, but there would be no complaints coming from her. Maybe her thighs would protest eventually. "How are things in medical?"

Taking a bite of her burger, Avery used the chewing time to give the question thought. "I think we're all holding up pretty well, considering. I know it's been a while, but people are just starting to come to terms with the realities of losing their memories for a time. Of course, they are grateful to have the opportunity to have their memories restored, but that also means reliving experiences they had already dealt with once all over again."

"Understandable," the Intel Chief said, popping one of the curly fries into her mouth. She chewed and swallowed it before speaking again. "I felt the twins move shortly after we lost our memories and thought I was pregnant with lizards. Needless to say that kind of stuck with me since I had a nightmare based on the same thing. It was... something I never hope to dream again as long as I live."

"That must've been terrifying," Avery offered sincerely. It was one thing not to know one's identity, but to also be convinced something was medically wrong was a whole other level of fear. "From what I understand, dreams of a more disturbing nature are quite common during pregnancy, especially first pregnancies. The mind works overtime to try to cope with the unknown, but it's natural for potential fears to creep in."

"So, dreaming about eating people and giving birth to lizard babies is normal?" Joey asked, looking a bit shaken by it.

Avery nodded, reaching for a french fry. "It is. The experience of pregnancy and giving birth is new for you, and I can only imagine more often than not, it feels like two aliens are taking over your body. It's only natural some of those physical challenges would create psychological stress about the future. Giving birth to lizards may seem completely outrageous, but your dreams may not be a literal worry, just a symbol of fearing other things, like the babies not being born healthy."

"That's definitely a pretty big fear," the Intel Chief stated. As a matter of fact, the thought of something being wrong with one, or both, of her babies was a constant in her mind. And now it seemed to plague her while she was sleeping, and just about the only time she didn't think about it was when she was working. There were far too many other things Joey needed to focus on. "I think it's pretty normal for women to have that particular worry, though. I mean, I try to do everything I'm supposed to, but then I wonder if it's enough... if there's more that I should be doing."

"Those are common worries," Avery agreed with a nod. "I wonder, what more do you think you should be doing to take care of yourself or the babies that you aren't already doing?"

Joey gave half a shrug. "I don't really know," she said. Was there anything more she could be doing? She gave her babies whatever she wanted as far as cravings went, she stayed active and worked out regularly, tried to avoid as much stress as she possibly could. "Are there more things I should be doing? Do you have any ideas?"

"I think you found your own answer," Avery replied with a smile. "If you can't think of anything else you should be doing, perhaps you might cut yourself some slack? Some things are just simply out of our control."

"I know, but I just feel like I can be doing more. I'm past the halfway point," she said with a frown, though, that wasn't a result of how far along she was in her pregnancy. Now, Joey felt the need to explain further. "I've got less than eighteen weeks to get everything ready for their arrival, and with how busy things have been lately, it doesn't seem like that's ever going to happen. Nothing has really been done for their arrival except a little shopping back when we were still at DS15. They'll be six months old by the time they have their own space."

"Admittedly, I'm not a parent, but from what I understand, babies, like all of us, really only need the basics. As long as they are warm, fed, kept clean, and given love, that's all they really need, especially in the first few months. You've also been taking care of yourself since you found out you were pregnant, and that counts a great deal when it comes to preparation. Not to pry, but I'm assuming the babies are healthy and you trust the people taking care of you?"

"They're both healthy," Joey said as she took a sip of her drink. If she knew it wouldn't cause any problems, she'd be in sickbay once a week checking on the progress of the twins, but that was definitely a bit much. "And I do trust the person taking care of me. Doctor Kij is seeing to things, and perhaps Doctor Abrams if she isn't available, but I don't see that as a possibility. I do trust him, too, even if his methods aren't exactly what I'm used to."

"Oh?" Avery asked, clearly curious. "I would think prenatal exams would be fairly straightforward."

Joey shook her head, realizing what she'd just said had caused Avery to misunderstand. That wasn't the counselor's fault, though, but entirely her own. "No, no," she began, offering the other woman a smile. "I haven't seen him for my pregnancy just yet since Doctor Kij is my primary caregiver. I was referring to an incident that happened when we were still dealing with the Consortium. I sustained an pretty bad injury to my shoulder that required me to have surgery, and while I was in sickbay, I told Doctor Abrams that I was fine. He called my bluff and told me to lift my arms above my head and clap. Needless to say, I was brought back to have that surgery almost immediately."

The counselor smiled. "I had not heard that story before. He sounds very… creative ," she added with a chuckle. "I suppose that was the simplest way to settle the argument. If only convincing people to accept therapy was as simple as that."

"You know, I can't speak for anyone else, but I can tell you why it's hard for me," Joey said, biting into her burger. Once she chewed and swallowed, she started speaking again. "For me, it's more a privacy thing. Yes, I have things I need to work through, but I'm not really the type who wants to pour her heart out to others and make my burdens their own. I know I need to quit that line of thinking, but it's not easy. I've always walled that part of me off, and have for many years."

Avery took another french fry and considered Joey's reply thoughtfully for a moment. Once she had swallowed her french fry, she offered, "I appreciate your honesty. The reasons for your reluctance are actually very common and understandable, especially if you've never really sought therapy before. Sometimes people think therapy is about opening up an emotional vein and wallowing in self pity. When it's done well, it's actually about two or more people talking about tools that can be used to manage people's problems more effectively. It isn't a reflection of someone's lack of capabilities, but more about a person's willingness to consider how things could be better. Bouncing off thoughts and ideas on another person is a way to open up possibilities. Sometimes trying to work through problems by yourself is like trying to see the nose on your own face without a mirror. It's physically impossible, not a reflection of personal incompetence. Of course, maybe none of that applies to you. Maybe there are other concerns around privacy I haven't considered."

"This is true, and it is nice to have someone to talk to. There are just some things that have happened during my career that I can't talk to about anyone," Joey stated, popping another fry into her mouth. She looked thoughtful as she chewed, then swallowed. "It's a confidentiality thing, which I'm sure you understand more than anyone does given your profession."

"I do," Avery replied with a nod. "Still, it's hard for me to imagine a scenario in which a member of Starfleet would never be allowed to discuss assignment details with another person, particularly a qualified counselor. Much time and effort goes into training qualified candidates for Starfleet, especially in positions like Security, Intelligence, and more specifically, covert ops. I would expect the brass would be especially interested in protecting such an investment by making sure those people had support for managing the extreme stress and trauma they are likely to experience as a matter of routine."

Joey took a sip of her drink. "It's not that hard to imagine. Some things are sensitive and need to be kept that way. It can be a huge burden to bear, but those who have to find a way," she said as she finished up her food and set it aside so she could put it into the nearest replicator. "Only certain people make into the program I did. It isn't for everyone, and it comes with its share of nightmares. Like I said before, those before me as well as those after me, will find a way to cope."

Avery respected Joey's perspective, but it still didn't make sense to her that there would be circumstances in which a member of Starfleet wouldn't be allowed to talk to a single soul about what they'd been through, particularly on Starfleet's behalf. She could certainly understand the circle of people qualified to hear such things would be small and would require specific clearances, but that was certainly different from not being able to talk to anyone about it at all. "People always find a way to cope. The issue is whether that way is healthy for them or not." She paused, then asked, "So just to be clear, are you saying you aren't permitted to see a counselor for evaluations or therapy at all because of assignments you've had?"

"No, that doesn't play any kind of role in whether or not I can be evaluated or seek therapy," the taller woman replied. "If I need it, then I know what to do and who to see."

The implication of Joey's words seemed to be she was not referring to Avery. Or was she? "Does that not include me? I won't be bothered personally if it doesn't," Stuart reassured, "but if that's the case, I wonder if it's my clearance level or ability to keep things confidential that has you concerned? If there's something I need to do to as a professional to make myself more accessible to you, I'd welcome the feedback. I'd hate to think any of the crew wouldn't feel they could come to me because of some credential I lack."

Joey looked a bit confused. Perhaps the counselor had misunderstood her, but it was nothing a little clarification wouldn't fix. "It includes you. What I meant was, there are some things that I'm not capable of speaking about with anyone, not that I couldn't seek counseling if I needed it."

Avery felt a bit better after Joey's clarification, but she still found her choice of words interesting. "I've no doubt you are capable of anything you put your mind to. Do you mean the idea of speaking about some things feels impossible?"

"Sometimes things do," the Intel Chief admitted. "But, I'm learning not to keep so many things bottled up inside."

"That's good," Avery replied, wanting to ask more questions, but not wanting to turn their meeting into an unwanted therapy session. "A lot of what I work toward is getting people to talk as a preventative measure. It's easier to address problems that way, but I'll admit, it's not easy to persuade people to talk before they have no other option."

"Well, if and when I need to come visit you on a professional level, I will," Joey promised, smoothing her hands over her uniform pants. "And, I think we should get together again off duty some time. I think you and I could be friends."

Avery smiled warmly. "I'd love to get together again. A gal can't have too many friends, especially to share junk food."

"I can definitely deal with the junk food. That seems to be one of the few things these two little ones like," the Intel Chief said with a smile.

"You're not so secret is safe with me," Avery added with a grin. Truthfully, she enjoyed spending time with Joey as well, especially hearing details about her pregnancy. Avery wanted nothing more than to be a mother some day and a small part of her heart was living vicariously through Joey. She would never say that, of course, not meaning it as strangely as it might sound, but still it was nice. "Well, I suppose I better be getting you back to your team before they send out a search party. Thanks for this, Joey, I really enjoyed it."

"I enjoyed it, too, Avery, thank you. And for the record, I'll never turn down food. Especially if it's fatty and not as good for me as others are," Joey said, unable to keep the smile from her face. "As for a search party... it's possible for that to happen. We'll do this again very soon."

"I'll hold you to that!"

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