Cherry Pie

Posted on 24 Sep 2018 @ 11:23pm by Commander Jayla Kij & Lieutenant Avery Stuart Ph.D.
Edited on on 30 Sep 2018 @ 9:57am

1,772 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: The Search Begins
Location: Chief Counselor's Office, USS Black Hawk
Timeline: MD2 || 1600 hours (Backpost)

"So, how goes it?" Avery offered warmly as she took her place opposite the doctor. It had been a little while since they'd met for a session but prior to the recent episode of memory loss, they had been meeting fairly regularly since Jayla had confided in Amery about her emotional struggles.

Jayla smiled the most genuine smile she'd given anyone in ages. "I'm doing all right," she answered. "Much better. Believe it or not, losing my memory was about the best thing that could have happened."

Avery smiled in return, but the rest of her expression clearly indicated she was perplexed. "Why is that exactly?" So far, most memories for everyone and come back over time, so there wasn't complete relief that anything was truly gone.In fact, the return of traumatic memories that had once never existed brought about its own psychological scars Avery and the rest of the counseling staff were still trying to deal with.

"Because the last memories to return were the most recent, the worst ones," Jayla replied. "It reminded me that my life has been pretty sweet and I can't let a little bitterness ruin me. It's like... it's like cherry pie with a touch of white pepper in the crust- delicious, but with a hidden heat that you just can't quite place. It makes the pie interesting, but doesn't ruin it at all."

Avery chuckled. Even when Jayla was at her lowest, it was almost like she was pathologically incapable of just seeing the negative in the situation, even when she didn't entirely accept it. It was one of the things Stuart liked most about her. "I'd say that's quite a healthy way of looking at things. If I'm understanding what you're saying, you realized that without a little variety, even in the form of difficulties and trauma, life would be quite boring, yes?"

"Something like that," replied Jayla. "Or the bitter makes the sweet taste even sweeter."

Avery nodded. "You've come a long way and I'm really proud of you. I know this journey hasn't been easy."

"Not for a second," Jayla replied. "But, I've learned to trust my friends and not to shut myself out. I may have had some rather unconventional methods, but at least I've come 'round. Mostly."

"Mostly?" Avery asked, curious about what the doctor was still struggling with. She was pleased to see Jayla was more comfortable expressing her feelings.

"Yeah," answered Jayla. "I mean, it's a process, right? I'm not sure I'll ever totally get past it. Stuff like that sort of stays with you your life, you know? But, I've learned from it and I'm continuing to work on perfecting what I've learned. Does that make sense?"

"It does," Avery agreed, pleased to hear there wasn't anything immediately troubling her. "I expect you will always have triggers, but having come through this once, my hope is that it will only build confidence that you can overcome this again should you ever need to. Have you been able to catch yourself when you're thinking in black-and-white terms when it comes to your self-worth?"

"It's getting easier to not think like that," Jayla replied. "I find it happening less and less. But, yes, I catch it easily now."

"That's wonderful," Avery replied. "I realize it's not easy at first to start paying attention to the little voice inside, but we all have one, and it can be really surprising to find out just how often it puts us down or reflects a view of situations that is shockingly negative."

"True story," agreed Jayla. "It helps to remember that I have friends. I seemed to have forgotten that at one point. I felt so alone. And I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems. I'm so ready to share others' burdens, but when it came to letting someone else take on mine... well, I just didn't want to. But, that's not the way it works, is it? Friendship, I mean. I know I would be very angry with my friends if they refused to confide in me, and yet, I didn't want to bother anyone. I wonder if they were angry with me," she mused.

"If it's a concern you have, you could always ask them," Avery offered. "Of course, I think we all struggle with asking for help at one time or another, even as members of Starfleet who are taught to be team players. I think that's especially true for healers like us who are taught to put other people first."

"That must be it," agreed Jayla. "I'm not used to asking for help; I'm used to giving it."

Avery nodded in understanding. "Of course, after recent events, I am more aware than ever how much we truly rely on each other."

"Me, too," replied Jayla. "Or at least how much we should rely on each other. I'm sure we're not the only two people in the universe who struggle with openness."

Avery smirked. "As a counselor, I know that's true. Is there someone you had in mind?" Stuart wondered if
she had experienced particular frustrations recently.

"No," answered Jayla. "No, it's just a generality, you know. Because it's a part of life. We're taught to listen to others, but not how to be open about our own problems."

"I think that's especially true for members of Starfleet," Avery agreed with a nod. "Training emphasizes self-reliance as much is teamwork, particularly in disciplines like security, tactical, and intelligence. I am working on reducing the stigma associated with asking for help, but it's not easily battled." Stewart smiled. "Sometimes I envy your role aboard ship. When it comes to physical conditions, most people can't ignore physical discomfort even if they tried. Psychological ones are easier to ignore…at least for a while," she added. The counselor understood that from personal experience, having watched her father abused her mother for years during her childhood. She felt a twinge of sadness as she thought about it, her mother killed at her father's hand.

"That's why I try to set an example by coming here as often as possible, sometimes for the most minor things," replied Jayla. "So, I apologize in advance if I come to you tearfully explaining that I watched a space rat die on some moon somewhere." She was only joking, of course, but it got the point across.

Avery smiled, but understood the deeper meaning behind the other woman's words. "You don't ever have to apologize for seeking support. As painful as your recent experiences have been, I am glad you eventually
realized you needed help. So many people can get to the point you were and still never consider counseling as an option."

"I was afraid that nobody could help except the symbiosis commission," Jayla confessed sheepishly. "I have to apologize for my lack of confidence in you; it turns out they gave me the same advice you did. I'm just glad I came to you when I did."

"No apologies are necessary, truly," Avery reassured. " you have every right to seek support and information from anywhere you think would be helpful. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I was going to need to consult more specialized information myself. As I'm sure you understand, it's impossible to remember everything about every race or species all of the time."

"Oh, do I ever," Jayla replied. "It seems I'm always reading up on one species or another, animals included. Even with all the extra crew on board, we still don't have a dedicated veterinarian. I'm just glad our diagnostic equipment make it so easy."

"You know, I never thought about our lack of veterinarian on board. Are there a lot of pets to take care of?"

"Not really," answered Jayla. "Six cats, nine dogs, a parrot and a hamster."

Avery's eyes sparkled. "A parrot and a hamster. Those choices seem very interesting. It occurs to me, pets can be a very good source of emotional support for people, especially after times of trauma and stress. Have you ever thought about getting a pet?"

"I thought about it," replied Jayla. "Trouble is, I'd have to get two or else a solitary animal. I nearly bought a couple of hermit crabs awhile back, but they require more care than you would believe. Cats might be okay. Cats are easy. I've had cats before."

"A cat would be good for you if you like the idea. What do you think is stopping you?"

"I'm not sure," replied Jayla pensively. "Maybe I'm afraid of what the cat will do while I'm gone all day. You know, like it'll get lonely and be unhappy. I don't want to cause another's unhappiness."

Avery couldn't deny it was a good point. Pets, like children, needed attention. "I'm sure there are ways to make sure a pet is entertained. Maybe a holographic program? I'm not trying to compare the two, but even children benefit from having some time away from their parents for short periods."

"Good point," agreed Jayla. "I could always get a holographic cat for a real one to play with. Or something."

"That's a thought," Avery agreed. "Just be careful as you search the database. One person's idea of 'cat' may not be another's," she added with a chuckle.

"True story," agreed Jayla. "I had a friend in the Academy whose family raised Sphinxes. They were ugly but so sweet and cuddly. They would snuggle with anyone who sat still for longer than ten seconds. I suppose a sphinx wouldn't be so bad."

Avery's eyes widened in surprise. "Aren't sphinxes huge? I can see it now. 'But Captain, Doctor Stuart told me I could have any emotional support animal I wanted.' I can just imagine how that conversation might go," she added, teasing.

Jayla giggled. "Not the mythical creature," she clarified. "The housecat. They're tiny. Although, the giant cat with the head of a man sounds like a lot of fun, now that you mention it."

Avery chuckled and pointed her finger at Jayla. "Don't go getting any ideas." More seriously, she added, "It's really good to see you smiling and looking to the future again, Jayla."

"It's good to be doing it again," Jayla confessed. "I'm feeling like my old self again."

"Think we should extend our sessions to monthly for awhile? Of course, you know if anything came up, we could see each other sooner," Avery reassured.

“I think that would be safe,” agreed Jayla. “Thank you so much. You’ve helped me more than you can imagine.”

Avery smiled. "My pleasure, Jayla. Truly."

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