Yet another kind of Counselor

Posted on 18 Aug 2020 @ 4:01am by Lieutenant Avery Stuart Ph.D. & Lieutenant Commander Arjin Djinx

3,012 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Ghosts
Location: Talons
Timeline: MD2

Arjin had just finished his conversation with Counselor Tivan. To say the least, it had been a special kind of talk.
Since he was off duty, he decided to bring a visit to Talons.

Upon entring he saw the room was only half full. So there was plenty of room to sit down.

He opted for a beverage that was very popular at Earth at one time. But very controversial due to its addictive properties towards sugar. He watched as the dark, almost black liquid was poored into the glass and then took his cola with him and sat at a table next to a window.

Since the ship had entered dry dock, Avery had made a commitment to take better care of herself. She made a point to exercise a little more often and to get out of her office for more than just professional reasons. As such, she decided to visit Talons for a drink and for a little time to reflect. She had hoped with the influx of new crew, including new crew within the counseling department, some of the weight she felt on her shoulders would be lifted, but at least with regard to her own department, she was more disconcerted than reassured.

Taking a sip of her drink, she decided to pull herself out of her reverie. Spotting Arjin at a nearby table, she nodded in his direction and offered, "Hello, Commander."

Arjin looked up as he saw a woman wearing Blue adressing him. He did know who she was although they never much talked before. Their departmental task not crossing path and him not being too keen on Counselors. He was in no mood to see another one after his visit to the Vulcan. But just ignoring her would be just rude. So instead he replied with a : "Greetings, Counselor."

"Avery, please," she offered kindly. She loved her career and was proud of it but she recognized it was sometimes a barrier to making connections with people. Here in Talons, she saw no reason to stand on title. "How are you?"

How are you. Typical counselors question he thought. Instead he shrugged. "Fine. Thank you. What brings you to Talons? We don't see much of you here."

Avery saw the shrug and had to suppress her natural instinct to inquire further. Occupational hazard. She nodded in response to his observation with a small smile. "I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, so to speak. I figured with all of the new reinforcements coming in, I thought I'd take the opportunity to get out of the office." Of course, after her meeting with Tivan, she was convinced she was going to be busier than ever.

"Out of the office. I'd prefer to stay in the office.", he thought. Towards the Counselor he replied otherwise though. "I'm glad to see the Black Hawk is filled to its capacity once more."

"I am too," she replied honestly. Her concerns about Tivan aside, it was good to have fresh faces and objective eyes to assess situations moving forward. They'd suffered so much trauma, a part of Avery worried all of their judgments had been compromised to some degree not easily managed. "Are you waiting for someone?" It was not a question intended to pry, but she wondered if she was keeping him from someone or something.

"Not really. Sit if you wish to.", he offered. Not really knowing what drove him to say that.

"Thank you," Avery replied, making her way over to his table. She appreciated the invitation and realized she must've looked pretty silly talking to him across her and table. " what brings you here?"

He raised his glass. "Booze.", he replied. "Booze and non-Vulcan company."

The first reason made sense, but the second intrigued her, especially given her own interesting meeting with a Vulcan recently. " oh? What is it about Vulcan company that you wish to avoid?"

He looked back over the table towards the counselor. "Vulcan company with an opinion on everything.", he muttered.

Avery smirked. "Well, to be fair, everyone has opinions, not just Vulcans. They're like assholes, as the saying goes." Not wanting to press, but genuinely interested, Stuart offered, "Want to elaborate? No pressure, but I'm human, and I'm told I'm a pretty good listener."

Dispite his recent mood, he kind of warmed up to the whitty tone of the woman. He rolled his eyes. "I don't really have anything against Vulcans in general. But come on. A Vulcan Counselor. That woman is as frigid as an iceberg and as careful as the proverbial elephant in the antiques shop. What did she have to do to replace you as department head? Pick some diplomats or Admirals brain."

Inwardly, Avery winced at the word replaced in reference to the Vulcan counselor's arrival. Of course, there was nothing but truth in his statement and most of the time, Stuart focused on the reality as a good thing… An indication the brass were concerned about her own burnout and mental health, but a small part of her, deep down, was hurt by it and questioned what she had done wrong. The whole thing left her with mixed feelings. On the one hand, Tivan's seeming disinterest in clinical work meant she could do what she loved and still exert some sense of leadership within the department, but on the other hand, she had no senior authority, which meant she couldn't protect the department or the crew from all of Tivan's potential impulses. Nevertheless, Avery's sense of professionalism wouldn't allow her to speak ill of another crew member, regardless of her own reservations. "I don't know, but I'm working on accepting what is in doing what I can to support this new reality and the crew. In fairness, I've known some Vulcans who were quite good therapists, but I'll admit Tivan presents as unique."

"Unique indeed.", he grunted. "But you are right. I should not judge a multitude based on one. Thas would not be very scientific of me. But enough about her. You told you work on accepting what is. Sometimes you should do that. Sometimes you should fight that and sometimes you should just have to let go. Not sure what is best. Still trying to figure that one out. Even after two and a tic lifetimes."

Avery smiled. "And what have you learned so far? I know you said you haven't figured it all out just yet, but I'd love to hear your working thoughts."

"Ha! Depends on who your asking. Reeza would tell you to let it go and focus on what lies ahead. Timor would tell you to fight it with evey fiber in you bone and if not to just run away from your problem."

The counselor chuckled. "I think that about sums up every possible way to cope with a problem. I'm curious, though, how does one run away from a problem while having a job and living on a starship?"

Arjin frowned. "You keep to yourself outside the nessesary requirements. Quit the job at the first stop you take and keep on moving and moving, always looking ahead one day at a time. And never look back."

"That sounds exhausting and incredibly lonely," Avery remarked. "Although I have to admit, I've been guilty of keeping to myself and putting the job ahead of everything else."

"That is only because in your job all the juicy gossip comes to you without effort. We mere workbees need to go fishing for the good stuff.", he joked taking a sip of his black drink.

Taking a sip of her own drink, she then smiled wryly. "It's not as easy as you think to get the good gossip. Some people see counselors as hall monitors and spies so to speak. I'll admit it's just good professional practice to keep tabs on the rumor mill to make sure there aren't any personnel or behavior concerns to manage. There's just some things people are reluctant to share, so we have to find other ways to stay in the loop." She sighed. "It's been challenging to manage professional obligations and personal, though. I love my job and I take it seriously. I also want friends and for people to know I care about them, not because it's my job to keep tabs for the good of the ship, but because I hate to see people in pain and thinking they have to keep it all to themselves."

Arjin clenched his jaw at that last remark. Keeping things to himself was just what he wanted and needed now. He raised his glass again to give him somewhat time to recover. "To friends. Past, present an future. Here and absent."

Seeing Arjin clench his jaw ever so slightly, she got the sense she'd hit a nerve unintentionally. In truth, she was venting more personally than she had in awhile. Resisting the urge to frown in defeat, she lifted her glass. "To friends."

"So is there a Mr Stuart also? If you don't mind me asking."

Inwardly, Avery was surprised both by his specific question and his decision to keep talking to her. She figured he would clam up. "There's no Mr. Stuart." Her mind flashed to her father, but she quickly pushed it away. "I guess you could say I'm married to my career."

"Married to the career. Yes, I understand", he nodded. "Yet one does not have to go without the other.", he offered.

Avery met his eyes for a moment and her smile deepened. She appreciated the chance for friendly but not entirely superficial conversation. "You're right. I guess I just haven't found the right person." As the words came out of her mouth, she knew they sounded cliché, but clichés were clichés because they were true.

"Having found the right person can be bliss. Mark me, the process of finding her or him can be very satisfying also"

Avery smiled mischievously. Was he flirting? "I expect so."

"Oh definately. There is something exciting in every kind of relationship. Wether married and having given birth to your own kids, or jumping from adventure to adventure without having to tie up, or keeping to yourself and letting things play out and be surprised. It all has his pro's and cons.", he smiled.

Avery noted it was the first time she had seen him smile in their exchanges and it was nice to see. She also found his comments interesting in light of his very diverse background as a joined Trill. "I'm not sure I am letting things play out so much as I'm just focused on work," she replied with chagrin. "I am curious, having experienced all of that, I'm wondering how those memories influence how you relate to others now? I will admit, I would someday like to be a mother, but I would appreciate hearing from someone who has memories of having given birth and motherhood as well as memories of keeping more to yourself."

Arjin pondered a bit about the question. Taking another sip before answering. "It is different for every person", he started. "What you got to understand is that although I have the memories of Djinx's previous hosts, they do not define me as a person. Kind of like the values given to you by your parents do not define who you are. It is not because a choice made in the past has not worked out for someone, or has worked out, that it will have the same outcome again. It would be boring to Djinx if all his hosts took the same desicions all over again. It is one of the things the Symbiont Comission takes into account when assigning a new host. As for your questions about kids. I could tell you about how painful it is to give birth and give you hundreds of examples how everything is worth wile enduring that just to have them. Timor would have been the best of fathers if he had children, which he did not. A thing he regretted. The birth of the Captain's children however have made it clear Arjin is not yet ready for such a thing. Maybe he never will. It depends on what you ant and if it feels right for you. It also depends on how your life plays out and on your partner."

Avery took a beat, considering his response. "Fair enough. I understand every experience is different for each individual, but still, I think it would be interesting to have the ability to access other perspectives even if you have to take individual personalities into account. For the record, however, I am interested getting to know Arjin too," she added with a grin.

Arjin frowned at the last remark of the Counselor. Was she being professional again or genuinely interested? He fel silent again and took another sip of his beverage. Having had two contacts so far woth Counselors and both experiences on the complete opposite spectum, he decided to give it a chance and open up a bit. "Shoot then", he said. "What do you want to know?"

Avery took a moment to consider the question. "How about something I can't find in your personnel file? I don't mean any of the 'if I told you, I would have to kill you' type stuff, but perhaps something else I wouldn't know."

"How about some quotes them.", he replied. "When you have to resort to violence, you already have lost!"

"Is that a direct quote from you personally?" Avery asked, not thinking it was, but not entirely sure. She found it intriguing he would suggest quotes, something unique, but not directly personal.

"It is.", Arjin offered.

"That's an interesting assertion," Avery replied. "Given all of the violence the crew has experienced and engaged in lately, I imagine such a belief would cause a great deal of emotional distress."

“Yes and no. It wasn’t us, but the Dolmoqur that resorted to violence. But yes we had to do the same to get free of them. So we won, but in my opinion we also lost.’

"In what ways?" Avery asked simply.

“Because we could not resolve the situation without much strife, combat amongst the crew and deaths.”

Avery considered that reply for a moment before asking, "But doesn't the words 'could not' imply a lack of ability or a lack of competence to respond in any other way, when in actuality, we had no choice? I can't help but think if we think in terms of who won and who lost, we're still implying we could've chosen differently and still survived."

“Who is to say?”, Arjin responded. “Maybe the different choise should have been taken long ago on a different level. Maybe we should have chosen differently ourselves. Nevertheless, too many lives were lost where they shouldn’t have been. Thus in my mind we have lost.”

He paused a bit. “Maybe we should have listened to the signs and not have entered the anomaly. But then that would clash with one of my other beliefs."

Avery found it interesting he appeared to be so ambivalent and yet, his opinions seemed to be anything but. In asking ' who's to say?' he was actually choosing to say very clearly what he believed. She wondered if he was actually trying to avoid asserting an opinion even though it was very clear he had one. Certainly presenting all sides of an issue would be a logical attempt to demonstrate a clear head, a goal lots of people seemed to want to demonstrate around her. Genuinely curious by his last statement, she asked, "What belief is that?"

“The only thing curiosity ever killed was a cat.”

Avery chuckled. "It wouldn't be very Starfleet of us to not be curious," Avery acknowledged with a nod. "Still, I worry after all we've been through whether we will lose that part of us. I do what I can to increase the crew's resiliency, but it's hard to know what the outcome will be."

“I don’t envy your job right now.”, Arjin nodded.

Not used to being on the receiving end of such sympathy, Avery added with a smile and a note of sarcasm, "Well, at least I can say there's never been a dull moment in my work, especially now. What about you? I imagine recent events have either stoked your scientific curiosity or dampened it."

Arjin recognized the technique the Counselor used to redirect the conversation away from her. He had seen it used enough with his father. And he had dated Counselor Roshe. He decided to let it slide. It was up to her to want to open up or not.
“Neither.”, he answered instead. “I still want to know what is beyond the next hill or on the next page. And I always knew about the risks involved with that. I just try not to become the cat.”

"I think we can all agree with that," Avery said with a smirk. She was really enjoying the conversation and found herself genuinely relaxed the more they talked. Still, she figured it was about time she get back to her quarters and her work. She was about to say as much when she hesitated, venturing, "Would you be open to a friendly dinner sometime? No pressure, but I don't spend time with colleagues outside of work much, and I am enjoying talking to you."

Arjin was a bit taken aback with the offer. It was after all his first conversation with the Counselor. Then again, she had said ‘friendly’. And it was not if he had many friends aboard the ship.
So he nodded his agreement. “It is better to warn you up front that my cooking skills are scarce to non existing.”, he said.

Avery chuckled. "Mine too. Replicator?"

“Sounds like a plan.”

The counselor smiled and stood up to take her leave. "I'll message you and we can set up a good time. Thanks for the chat. I never like to drink alone."

RSS Feed