Pep Talk (Backpost)

Posted on 15 Oct 2015 @ 10:08pm by Captain Harvey Geisler & Lieutenant Avery Stuart Ph.D.

1,368 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Rude Awakening
Location: USS Black Hawk || Ready Room
Timeline: BACKPOST ... Before the Nestene IX Mission

Avery pressed the chime outside Harvey's Ready Room and waited to be allowed entry. Recent times had been difficult for the entire crew and that alone she expected to weigh heavily on him. On top of that fact, however, Geisler had been captured and seen his ship crippled. She was still getting to know him, but she could see in his eyes he was struggling to deal with recent developments. Understandably, he was taking responsibility for all of it, but he was still human and it was unrealistic to expect him not to need an outlet for his feelings. She knew pride or anxiety may prevent him from reaching out to her, so she had decided to come to him.

Harvey had been leaning on his desk for the better part of an hour, staring into the yellow unknown outside the viewport. The inability to do anything at all he finally managed to look past. But, even in futility, there was little he could do. The holodeck was unreliable, and the crew was still hard at work cleaning anything considered to be a recreational facility. If he were in his quarters, he'd feel like he was hiding from the problems, but being in the ready room let his crew know he was around and ready.

Or sulking.

Harvey closed his eyes and frowned. He was certain they knew he was sulking.

The door chime sounded, and Harvey refused to move. He did however, acknowledge the chime, and allow whoever it was to enter.

The doors hissed open upon command and Avery stepped inside, a bit surprised not to receive any other acknowledgment from Geisler. In fact, other than to allow her entry, he hadn't made any moves at all. "Captain?" Stuart asked. "Are you all right?"

"We're a sitting duck in the middle of an unknown sector with no relief in sight," he replied with a sharp tone, still unmoving at the desk. Upon realizing what he'd said, Harvey sighed and pushed off of the desk in order to turn and look at the Counselor. "I'm sorry," he added in a tone that was lacking true feeling. "I'm sure you've dealt with plenty of strife from the crew in the past few days. You don't need me to add to your load."

Stuart smiled and met his eyes. "Actually, I do need you to add to my load. Even if every single member of the crew was talking with me extensively about how they're feeling and how they're coping, as the Captain, what you're feeling and how you're coping is particularly important. We've been through a lot as a crew," Avery acknowledged, "but you went through a great deal personally this mission as well. It would be natural if you were feeling vulnerable."

"Vulnerable?" he fired back. "The whole damn ship is vulnerable and there's noth--" Harvey froze, realizing he'd said something aloud that he hadn't planned to.

"There's nothing you can or could do about it?" Avery finished softly. She met his eyes and refused to break contact with him, though her eyes conveyed compassion and gentle concern, not harshness.

Harvey inhaled, letting the sharpness of her words sear through him. His frustrated gaze locked with hers for a moment, reading every nuance of her expression. A moment later, he loudly exhaled and crossed his arms. "Before donning command red," he said slowly, "I was a medical researcher. Give me a microscope and no direction and I can help you cure a disease or come up with a treatment. I've learned a lot in the last few years, but when your ship is dependent on a computer that isn't functional... What good is a Captain then?"

"So from your perspective, the entirety of a captain's job is to give commands to the computer?" Stuart wasn't trying to be flip, she simply wanted to reflect his words back to him. "As long as there's no computer, a captain is completely useless?"

"No..." Harvey said, his voice trailing off. "That's not..." Letting loose a heavy sigh, he bowed his head.

"What?" Avery asked softly. "Talk to me, Harvey. It's just us here and I am certainly not going to judge you for giving an outlet to whatever feelings are underneath all of that anger and frustration." Stuart knew he'd been through a lot, not the least of which was being taken hostage aboard his own vessel. Immediately after his rescue, there wasn't exactly time to dwell on it, but now that it was over, Avery knew a person would have to be made of stone not to be psychologically affected by that experience, no matter how brief.

He sighed. "Years ago, during the Dominion War, I was on Betazed during the Dominion Occupation. I played the good doctor for several months, all the while trying to track down my wife's location. The mystery led me to leave my compound, unauthorized, and travel across the planet, only to find she'd died when the Dominion first arrived. Afterwards, I was so outraged, I managed to escape and rejoin the Federation ranks."

Beginning to pace in the room. "I haven't felt the rage I feel now since then. There was no way I could save Alison then. And, here I am again!" Harvey spread his arms wide in frustration. "My home, my familiarity, my sanctity has been violated. I can make things go and move, that's never been a problem. But when you have a ship that's disabled, what more can you do than keep watch?"

"I'll ask again," Avery replied gently. "Is a captain's role merely to make things happen with the hardware that represents the ship itself? It seems to me you're ignoring key assets right in front of you, and in doing so, you're ignoring a large part of what it means to be a leader in times of triumph as well as times of tragedy."

Harvey fell silent, and his pacing stopped. It wasn't that he hadn't considered that he was ignoring certain command functions and assets. Rather, he had allowed other situations to blind himself to the here and now. He remained still for a moment more before turning to face the Counselor. "Are you usually this blunt in your sessions, Doctor?"

Avery smiled. "Yes. I'm particularly blunt when I'm dealing with stubborn crewmembers. Something tells me, however, that's not what you really wanted to know, is it?"

Harvey smirked. "Actually, it was rhetorical. The truth is, I don't like sitting still. Never have."

Avery smiled in return. "Most captains don't. In fact, I'd be more worried if you did like sitting still." More seriously, she added, "Your crew needs to know you value their contributions. They need a leader who understands leadership is about more than just making things happen, but is also about building and maintaining relationships as a team. I know you're frustrated that you're not in a position to act now, but guess what? The entire crew feels that way, because in big and small ways they want to act as well. They want to do the things they've sworn to accomplish. Some of them may even think if they let you down, and the longer you stay here, isolating yourself, the more you reinforce for them they're right."

The Captain nodded, considering her words for a moment longer. "Sounds like I have a job to do then," he said, dropping his arms to his sides. "Thank you, Doctor."

Stuart knew she had given him the pep talk he needed to move forward for now, but that didn't mean she didn't think his feelings were a rational or his reactions were abnormal. Avery was maternal by nature but didn't know Harvey well enough yet to be sure her physical gestures would be taken in the spirit in which they were intended. She settled for placing and gentle hand on his shoulder. "You were taken hostage. That experience alone would leave someone rattled and wanting to isolate. I'm also not discounting the likelihood you're beating yourself up for not somehow seeing this coming. I can relate," Avery added honestly. "I'm not asking you to suppress your emotions, Captain. I will listen to you anytime."

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